How To Get a Divorce

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A Step by Step Guide on Getting a Divorce

We look at how to get a divorce and answer your frequently asked questions

What are the stages of getting a divorce?
Can I get divorced if we have just drifted apart?
Do I have to talk to my ex-partner throughout the divorce process?
Can I get a divorce if my partner doesn’t want to?
Will my partner get 50% of our assets, even if they have cheated
What am I entitled to in a divorce settlement?
Do I have to give my engagement ring back if we divorce?
Does social media cause divorce?
Do I need to appoint a solicitor?
We’re not married, but we’ve been together for years – will I get 50%?
What happens during a divorce if the couple has a prenuptial agreement?
Our five top tips for going through a divorce
How we guide you through the divorce process

Going through a divorce or separation can be one of the most stressful periods in your life and if you're unsure of what the divorce process is, or how it works in practice, then the whole thing can feel a little bit overwhelming.

The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act, was introduced on 6 April 2022, which has completely overhauled the law and now means that one party can start or a couple can jointly start, proceedings without the need to apportion blame or offer a reason for the divorce.

Divorce terminology is also changing too, bringing the process into the 21st century. Making each element of divorce as clear as possible will reduce confusion and help people to understand the process they’re embarking on a little easier.

What are the stages of getting a divorce?

Here we break down the process of getting a divorce into seven steps.. Steps one to four explain how to start divorce proceedings. The latter three steps explain the process of completing the divorce.

Applying for a divorce

One person or a couple jointly starts the divorce application. This can be done online or via a paper application.
There is now no requirement to give a reason for divorce or blame your partner – it is now largely on the basis of irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.
Reflection Period

The court sends your partner a copy of the application and the new and important 20 week reflection period starts. The new law stipulates a minimum allowable period of 20 weeks between the initial application and the granting of the conditional order, the old decree nisi, and then another six weeks between this and the final order.
While there was some concern that the new legislation would mean ‘quicker/easier’ divorces, this period will mean the shortest divorces will still take at last six months to complete, rather than 3-4 months under the previous law.
Conditional Order Application

You apply for a conditional order and decide whether you want to make a financial claim. Within the divorce application, there is a question asking if you want to make a financial claim, i.e. if you want to finalise your financial matters in court after your divorce. Although completing a financial disclosure form is not compulsory for every divorce, it is a useful tool to give both parties a clear understanding of each other’s financial position, as people don’t always know exactly what there is ‘money-wise’ to agree a fair financial split.
Before you even start considering how you’re going to divide things up, it’s important that you are both open and honest with the information you provide about your finances.
A financial disclosure is not part of the divorce application document, but it does tend to be done in parallel to completing the application. You can read more information about financial settlements on the family law section of our website.
Application Review

The court reviews your application. Once you’ve filled in your application, you’ll need to send it to the court, along with either your original marriage certificate or an official copy (which you can obtain from the local registrar for around £12). You can find the address of your nearest divorce centre on the gov.uk website. You can also apply for a divorce on-line rather than send in a paper application.
As the applicant(s) you will also need to pay a fee to apply for a divorce (this is currently £550) – the application won't be issued without a payment being made. Payment can be made via debit or credit card, or by cheque.
Although it is the responsibility of the applicant(s) to pay the fee, people often agree with their ex-partner to share the costs (if they are aware the application is being filed at this stage). If you are on a low income you may be able to get help with the fees, but you will need to make a separate application for this and produce details of your circumstances.
Conditional Order

The court grants the conditional order (and the six week cooling off starts). Once you’ve sent your divorce application to the court, your ex-partner will be sent a copy too. As the ‘responder’ they must acknowledge that they have received a copy of the divorce application by signing and returning an acknowledgement of service form to the court. They must do this within seven days of receiving the papers. The new Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act has removed the option for an ex partner to contest a divorce.
We recommend that you speak to your ex-partner in advance so they’re aware of the reasons you have filed the application and so they can keep an eye out for the papers. This can help prevent a delay with returning the form, which in turn can lead to severe delays with the divorce process and sometimes incur additional costs.
Final Order Application

You apply for the final order. The final step in obtaining a divorce takes place six weeks and a day after your final order is pronounced. If you’re the applicant then you will be the one to apply for the final order (the legal document that officially dissolves your marriage) after the ‘six weeks and a day’ period.
Final Order Granted

The court grants the final order. It’s important to know that you must file for your final order within a year after your conditional order is granted, otherwise you’ll have to go through more court proceedings, causing further delays.

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Can I get divorced if we have just drifted apart?

The introduction of the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act in April 2022 now means that no reason has to be given for starting divorce proceedings. Proceedings can be started by one party or as a couple. The divorce process generally takes between six and nine months but can take longer if financial matters still need to be agreed upon.

Do I have to talk to my ex-partner throughout the divorce process?

You don't have to, but it might help if you can. It’s always better if you can communicate with your ex-partner – especially if there are children involved. We appreciate that parenting through a divorce or separation is not easy. Even though you’ll no longer be married, you’ll both still want to act in the best interests of your children, so if you can retain some form of a relationship, it's better for everybody. It also helps to maintain some level of communication with your ex-partner when negotiating financial settlements.

However we appreciate that this isn’t always possible. If it's hard to talk to them, or your divorce is as a result of a domestic abuse case, then don't put yourself in an uncomfortable or compromising position. That’s where our divorce solicitors can work with you to try and reduce the stress and pressures surrounding the process, protect your interests, and seek a positive and prompt solution that works for you.

Can I get a divorce if my partner doesn’t want to?

Yes. Divorce proceedings, following the introduction of the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act, can be started by one party or by both parties.

Will my partner get 50% of our assets, even if they have cheated?

In England, the courts will always start with a 50/50 split of assets. But there are a number of instances where this may not be the case, such as the length of the marriage/civil partnership, large sums of inheritance or money generated after separation and sometimes generated pre-marriage and whether there are children. Fault – such as one partner cheating – has no bearing on the division of assets.

What am I entitled to in a divorce settlement?

This depends on a variety of factors i.e. the length and duration of the marriage, who the children will live with, what the matrimonial pot of assets consists of, what the respective income positions of the parties look like, and the age of the parties, to name but a few.

Once you have gone through the process of full and frank financial disclosure, a specialist divorce lawyer will be able to tell you what a Judge might consider being a fair financial settlement in your case. The starting point is for there to be an equal division of all matrimonial assets which includes assets in joint names but also any assets in the sole names of each party.

Visit our divorce financial settlements solicitors page to learn more about how we can support you.

Do I have to give my engagement ring back if we divorce?

This is a particularly common divorce question we encounter. If you break up with your partner, you may feel a moral obligation to return the ring - however, unless it can be proved that the ring was given conditionally, the law states that it is an absolute gift, meaning you do not have to return it to your ex.

But when it comes to household contents, also known as ‘chattels’ this is an area that is best dealt with directly between the parties as costs can quickly escalate when this issue is negotiated through solicitors. However, when high-value jewellery is involved, these items can cause conflict.

Wedding and engagement rings in particular can hold both monetary and emotional value, and the giver of those rings may believe that they are entitled to half the value, or even to have them returned.

In law, the giving of a ring is presumed to be a gift, and therefore it does not have to be returned. There may be an argument if an engagement is broken off, that the ring was given on the condition that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place. However, even though unfair, the recipient is not obliged to return it.

However, if the ring is of very significant value, this figure may be taken into account as part of the overall settlement.

Do I need to appoint a solicitor?

While it is possible to get a divorce without the support of a solicitor, you may run the risk of missing important legal loopholes, such as the ‘remarriage trap’. Put simply; if you remarry without a claim for a financial order you may be barred from seeking maintenance and other financial claims. You may also find yourself out of pocket down the line. Without full legal severance, it is possible that an ex-partner could chase you for a share of funds you may accrue later in life – whether that be a pension pot, inheritance or even a lottery win!

We’re not married, but we’ve been together for years – will I get 50%?

There is no such thing as a ‘common law wife/partner'. Cohabiting couples frequently believe that living with somebody for a prolonged period of time leads to certain legal rights such as a share of property owned by one party – it does not. If you choose not to marry then do consider a living together agreement to protect your best interests.

What happens during a divorce if the couple has a prenuptial agreement?

The court will consider whether to give effect to a prenuptial agreement if it is freely entered into by each party with a full appreciation of its implications.

The key question is fairness. To establish this, the court will query whether the agreement was entered into freely and if the parties were aware of the implications of the agreement. It must be fair to hold the parties to the agreement in the circumstances prevailing, this will include whether any children have been born.

Our five top tips for going through a divorce

1. Remain civil and amicable

Keep discussions regarding the divorce and financial matters away from children. Emotions will understandably be running high but it’s essential that children do not pick up on any parental discord. Remaining civil and amicable with an ex-partner in the presence of the children can make the divorce process less traumatic for everyone involved.

2. Take care during any conversations

Assume any text message, conversation or email exchange with an ex-partner will be shown to a Judge. Stop and think before sending an angry message in the heat of the moment, as this could be regretted later down the line.

3. Consult a lawyer before any major decisions

Avoid making any drastic decisions such as leaving the family home or clearing out a bank account without consulting a divorce lawyer, as this could adversely affect the case.

4. Keep a diary of events

Divorces are an emotional and unstable time, meaning it can be hard to keep track of important events which may need to be relied upon later down the line. Keeping a diary and documenting everything is one way to ensure all essential information is on hand. For example, if an ex-partner misses a contact session or they tell you they will be opening a new bank account in their sole name, make a note.

5. Outline specific objectives

Defining goals can help keep the divorce process on track.

If retaining a pension is the main priority, then informing a divorce lawyer during the initial appointment would be a wise move. If the aim is to remain in the former family home, thinking about whether that goal is realistic and achievable is essential.

Neither party will ever come away from a divorce with absolutely everything that they wanted, so it’s important from the outset to decide what’s most important and what can be lived without.

How we guide you through the divorce process

The complicated part of the divorce process is not the dissolving of the marriage, but dealing with issues surrounding it such as those involving children or finances.

Our team of family lawyers can help support you and advise on the options available to complete your divorce process, whether this is making child arrangements and ensuring that the disruption and emotional stress is kept to a minimum, or securing the best financial settlement for you to secure your future.

The process of divorce can be emotional and the actions you take in the early stages can set the tone for everything that follows. If you’re about to start divorce proceedings either jointly or separately, or currently going through the separation process, then speak to one of our divorce lawyers. We’re here to guide you through the maze of emotions and legal responsibilities, every step of the way.

Helpful Resources:

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The importance of the Pre Nup

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Can a pre-nup be overturned?

For lots of couples the use of a prenuptial agreement (commonly referred to as a pre-nup) is there to protect assets and interests, should things go wrong in the marriage.

In the past, they have very much been thought of as the domain of the rich and famous but with blended families becoming more common, they too are becoming much more common.

The recent news that billionaire musician and producer Dr Dre and his wife Nicole Young are divorcing, has bought the issues of pre-ups into sharp focus and the thornier issue of ‘Can a pre-nup be overturned?’

The background to the case

Dr Dre and his wife, Nicola Young, entered into a prenup prior to their marriage in 1996. The validity of the prenup is now in focus as paperwork seems to show that Dr Dre repeatedly ripped up copies of the pre-nup throughout their marriage, leading his wife to believe that the pre-nup was no longer valid. Young is also citing that she felt threatened and intimidated into signing the agreement shortly before their marriage.

Dr Dre is reportedly worth near to 1 billion dollars so the financial fall out from the argument of pre-nup v no pre-nup is extremely significant. Dr Dre has since confirmed the existence of the pre-nup agreement requesting that any settlement is made in accordance with it.

What is the Pre Nup situation here in the UK?

The UK has been slow to recognise the importance and validity of pre-nups and it was the landmark case of Radmacher v Granatino that highlighted this.

Radmacher and Granatino had entered into a pre-nup prior to their marriage agreeing that neither party would benefit from the property of the other, on divorce.

When the couple did divorce, the pre-nup was overturned by the judge, who awarded the husband a much larger settlement than was recorded in the pre-nup because, in her view, its importance had been lessened as the husband had not received appropriate legal advice before signing it and there were now children to take into account.

The wife appealed this decision and won. The husband took the case to the Supreme Court but the decision was upheld and he was unsuccessful. The judge ruled that pre-nups have ‘magnetic importance’ and appropriate weight should be given to the agreement IF entered freely entered into by both parties and who fully appreciate the implications of the agreement and potential outcomes.

Can a pre-nup be overturned in the UK, even in light of the matter of Radmacher v Granatino?

The keyword in the above case review is IF the agreement has been entered into freely and knowledgeably. If it can be proved that this is not the case, then there are grounds for the agreement to be overturned and it will not be considered binding if:

Any subsequent children from the marriage are not provided for.
The agreement was signed under pressure or there was undue influence or if one party did not have the legal capacity to enter into the pre-nup
It can be proven that one party did not fully understand what they were signing or what the implications to them would be if it was used.

What else can I do to ensure a pre-nup is given maximum weight?

To limit the opportunities for the agreement to be reviewed or overturned it is advised that any prenuptial agreement be drawn up and entered into well in advance of the actual wedding to allow time for review, discussion and negotiation if appropriate.

Financial disclosure is also a prerequisite. Either party found to be failing to disclose their financial situation will mean the agreement is unlikely to be given maximum weight.

Also evidence of the parties having a full understanding of the financial position of the other party will help an agreement remain watertight.

If all of the above can be proven then a pre-up, whilst still not technically legally binding, will stand up to scrutiny by a UK court and should be given decisive weight.

Who should get a pre- or postnuptial agreement?

If you are engaged to be married or about to enter into a Civil Partnership and wish to have certainty regarding your financial matters in the event of your marriage/relationship breaking down, then you should get a pre-nuptial agreement.

If you have already got married/entered a Civil Partnership and you would like to make arrangements to create certainty regarding your financial situation in the unfortunate event your marriage/relationship breaks down, you should get a post-nuptial agreement.

If you have children from a previous marriage that you wish to financially safeguard then, again, you should look to obtain a nuptial agreement.

Finally, if you have significantly more wealth than your partner then, again, you may wish to enter into a nuptial agreement.

It's always sensible to have a safety net in place which sets out clearly what should happen to your finances, in the event your relationship breaks down.

What happens during a divorce if the couple has a prenuptial agreement?

The court will consider whether to give effect to a prenuptial agreement if it is freely entered into by each party with a full appreciation of its implications.

What should someone do if they’re asked to sign a prenuptial agreement?

Always take legal advice. Find out more about our services and how we can help by visiting our pre & post-nup page.

It is key that each party seeks separate legal advice.

How we can help you with a pre-nup

Pre-nups are becoming much more common so to ensure that they work for you and your family careful and considered advice is key.

For further information, please contact Stephanie Kyriacou, another member of the family team in your local office or fill out our enquiry form, and a member of our family law team will get in touch with you shortly.

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Stephanie deals with all aspects of relationship breakdown to include divorce, children matters and resolving the financial issues upon separation.

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No-Fault Divorce -
Here's what you need to know

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No-fault divorce becomes legislation on Wednesday 6 April 2022

Despite the long awaited Act for “no-fault” divorce being passed in June 2020, it is finally becoming legislation on Wednesday 6 April 2022. It has taken years of discussion to reach this point, providing significant changes to the way couples apply for a legal separation.

This landmark legislation, formally called the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 will allow married couples to divorce without assigning blame. Up until this point, couples had to have been separated for at least two years, or have to blame the other spouse for the breakdown of the marriage, which increases the animosity.

England and Wales have been a step behind many other countries when it comes to divorce with many opting for a more progressive approach. At present, one spouse must issue divorce proceedings against the other, potentially creating unnecessary animosity which can often lead to the divorce being contested by the other spouse.

Under the no-fault divorce system, couples will also be able to apply for divorce jointly which will hopefully lessen the chance of blame creeping into the equation. It will not be possible to contest a divorce, putting an end to traumatic situations such as the Owens v Owens case.

Cases such as Owens v Owens are rare. Removing the option to contest a divorce is a vital step forward, stopping people from being trapped in a marriage that they no longer want to be part of.

A statutory timeframe has been included in the new legislation, meaning that a divorce cannot be finalised in less than 20 weeks. Under current law, it is possible to conclude a divorce in a shorter time frame than this, however, it's rare for this to happen in less than four months.

It is important to remember though that complexities can arise that can add significant time to the process, such as financial claims that require negotiation, or concerns around child custody.

What terminology has changed as part of no-fault divorce?

Previous terminology	New terminology	Description
Petition	Application
Petitioner	Applicant
Decree Nisi	Conditional Order	The order by a court of law stating the date on which the marriage will end
Decree Absolute	Final Order	The legal document that ends a marriage
(Judicial) Separation Decree	(Judicial) Separation Order	An order which confirms the parties to a marriage or civil partnership are separated
Decree of Nullity	Nullity of marriage order	A declaration of the court that the marriage is null and void

How will no-fault divorce work?

The announcement means that couples will no longer have to agree to be separated for two years, or have proof of their partner being at fault, in order to file for divorce. Only one person needs to desire the divorce, and their spouse will not be able to refuse the application.

Being able to apply for a no-fault divorce will spare couples the emotional stress and strain of finding blame for an unreasonable behaviour petition or when they can’t, or don’t want to, wait two years to divorce on the grounds of separation or five years if they do not have the consent of the other spouse.

It should be noted that under the new law, the statutory timeframe means that a divorce cannot be concluded in less than 26 weeks. Although it is possible for this to be shorter under the current law, it is still unusual for it to be less than four months, not including the time taken to resolve financial claims. As a result, the overall timeframe of the new system will be largely in line with the existing one. Plus, a fixed timeframe allows parties to reflect on whether the decision to end the marriage is the right one.

What caused the delay?

Following the tireless campaigning of family lawyers, the government has spent a significant amount of time over the past few years trying to make the divorce process simpler.

The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act receiving Royal Assent was a real breakthrough moment, with many hoping no-fault divorce would come into play by early 2021 at the latest. However, following delays, the act has now come into force on 6 April 2022. This was to allow time to become familiar with the new process, and for any necessary, IT changes to be made to HMCTS’s online divorce systems so that new process works as intended and is fit for purpose.

No-fault divorces will take a huge amount of anxiety away from the process, benefitting a significant number of people.

How we guide you through the divorce process

The introduction of no-fault divorce is one of the most significant changes in family law in the last 50 years. Ending a marriage is a monumental decision, and that won’t change. It’s important to remember that the actions you take in the early stages can set the tone for everything that follows.

If you’re about to start divorce proceedings, or currently going through the separation process, then speak to one of our divorce lawyers. We’re here to guide you through the maze of emotions and legal responsibilities, every step of the way.

You can also read our step by step guide on how to get a divorce. Find out more here >>.

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Your Guide to Social Media and Divorce

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The dos and don'ts with social media when going through a divorce

When going through a divorce, it can be easy to be tempted to post about how we’re feeling on social media. After all, social media is part of our lives and in its best form it can be a wonderful tool to connect, inform, and entertain people. However, it also has the opportunity to cause harm, distress and hurt and be used in a vindictive, spiteful and unhealthy way. Divorce can be an incredibly emotional time for both parties involved and their families – so don’t make it any harder than it needs to be.

Here are few Dos and Don’ts of using social media, especially during divorce proceedings. Remember much of this information will be available to a court and could have a bearing on any outcome.

Dos: What to do on social media during a divorce

DO change your passwords

Be sure to take ownership of any social media accounts eg Facebook, Instagram etc. Do also change the passwords of your email accounts. Remember, whether the split is amicable or not, you do not want your partner to have access to accounts that could contain sensitive information.
The same goes for bank accounts, credit cards, music streaming services etc. There have been occasions where these have been used and manipulated in divorce proceedings.
Even if you know your partner’s passwords, do not log into their accounts. Everyone has a right to privacy and you could be in breach by doing this. Unauthorised access to your partner’s computer may be breach of the Computer Misuse Act 1990.

DO check, and if necessary change your privacy settings

Make sure that if you do post, however innocently, only your friends list sees it and you cannot be tagged into any posts without your permission.
This applies to all social media so minimise the risk on all platforms. If you work in the same organisation as your partner, also check your company’s social media policy.

DO turn off any location tracking features on apps you may use

It is a ‘feature’ of more apps than you might realise. This could cause an embarrassing and hurtful meeting or unfortunately, in more sinister circumstances, can provide your partner with your exact location from a stalking / abuse perspective.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse and continue to feel vulnerable, you can change your mobile number to avoid receiving nuisance calls or messages from them, but beware that many apps acc ess the contacts from your phone or email address. So block their number.

DO follow people and organisations that can offer help and support

Seeing how people have come through this crisis can be motivating and beneficial. There are lots of organisations and charities who can offer free guidance and support too.

Don'ts: What not to do on social media during a divorce

Don’t bad mouth your partner online

Tempting as it might be – do not bad mouth your partner online, especially if children are involved. Remember children could read and learn more than you’d like them to and be hurt or distressed by it.
This is also the case with wider family too. Remind friends and family not to post negative comments about your partner online. It can also play a big part when looking to come to an agreement with your partner. An upset partner can make things very difficult, drawn out and expensive.

Don’t share any personal data you have about your partner

As you may breach data protection laws. This includes intimate and sensitive details of the relationship.

Don’t chat about court proceedings, children or financial information

By doing so you could be in breach of legislation which could be classed as a serious offence AND anything you share online can and could be used against you by the other party.

Don’t post pictures of children you share online

This is a very emotive issue and one that comes up time and time again in proceedings. Parents often have polar opposite views on how, when and if this should happen.
Send any photos directly, not on a public platform, especially if you are aware of your partner’s objections. Posting pictures without consent can have data protection implications and affect a person’s right to a private life. Err on the side of caution.

Don’t be tempted to share a new romance on line

Thrilling as it may be, be discreet and remember that if the shoe was on the other foot, how hurtful it would be to read/see this.
More seriously, if proceedings have not yet started adultery could now be cited as a reason on the petition. Any pictures of you and your new beau together could evidence possible habitation and have a big effect on any financial settlements and child arrangements.

Don’t be tempted to stalk, follow or trail your partner

This can be exhausting, upsetting and often fruitless. Social media can be all-consuming, particularly if you are the injured party. Give yourself some time to rest and recover.

Remember – keeping things amicable is almost always the best route but if your inner calling bird is getting the better of you….take a deep breath and move away from the keyboard.

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Do I need permission to take my child on holiday?

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In this guide we look at what separated parents need to do to take their children on holiday

As well as packing the usual beachwear, sun cream and passports (do check they are still valid and have the required time left on them!), it could be necessary to take a little extra paperwork along for those people whose surname is different to their child’s.

A different surname might arise for a host of reasons, such as a divorce and subsequent name change, keeping a maiden name on marriage or re-marriage, or having a child with a double-barrelled surname.

If a child, who is coming on holiday with an adult, does have a different surname, it’s important to be aware of the pitfalls of not having sufficient paperwork to show that the child is perfectly entitled to be on holiday with that person.

What’s the law?

You must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before taking the child abroad.

Who has parental rights and responsibilities?

You automatically have parental responsibility if you’re the child’s mother, but you still need the permission of anyone else with parental responsibility before you take the child abroad.

A father usually has parental responsibility if he’s either:

married to the child’s mother
listed on the birth certificate (after a certain date, depending on which part of the UK the child was born in)

Are there any exceptions?

Consent is not legally required by the other parent if the holiday is for less than 28 days and a Child Arrangements Court order is already in place to confirm the child lives with the parent taking them on holiday, but it is always better to have consent, rather than run the risk.

What evidence and documents do I need to show the other parent's consent?

As well as the child’s passport, taking a paper trail to prove who their parents are is vital.

This includes:

The child’s birth certificate and the parent’s
A divorce or marriage certificate, if you are a single parent but your family name is different from the child’s.
If you changed your surname upon divorce, the change of name deed and a copy of the final order (old decree nisi)
Bringing along an expired passport, which proves the name change could also be helpful.
You will need to obtain written consent from the other parent or anyone who has parental responsibility for the child is another wise move. A properly drawn up consent form is ideal, or if that’s not possible, a letter from the other parent, confirming their full contact details, that they are the parent of the child and that they have given consent for the holiday, along with their signature, should suffice.

Having an awareness of the questions that might be asked at the immigration desk is important, as it allows a level of preparation between parent and child. They might be asked about the identity of the other parent, for example, or you might be asked for the letter.

What happens if the other person with parental responsibility does not provide their consent?

You’ll need to apply to a court for permission to take a child abroad if you haven’t got permission from the other people with parental responsibility.

You must give details of the trip, e.g. the date of departure, when and how you’re returning, and contact details of people with parental responsibility staying in the UK.

You must give more information if you’re taking the child abroad for a longer trip, e.g. what education the child will get while they’re abroad.

If the other parent won’t agree to the holiday, it’s not too late, speaking to one of our family lawyers about obtaining an order from the court is an option.

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Helen works with clients to ensure that they are sensitively guided through the complex area of family and relationship breakdown.

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Helen Bowns

Partner & Head of Family Law

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Helen Bowns

Partner & Head of Family Law

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Child Law - What rights do grandparents have?

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What rights do grandparents have to see their grandchildren?

The relationship between a grandparent and a grandchild is unlike any other. It can offer a level of support and understanding that can’t be found with other relatives and is often a vital part of a child’s upbringing.

Unfortunately, in the UK, grandparents do not have automatic rights to see their grandchildren. However, if you’re a grandparent and are currently being prevented from seeing your grandchildren then there are options available. Here we explain how you can maintain access and keep the relationship going.

How do I get to see my grandchildren?

The most common reason for grandparents not to be able to see their grandchildren is relationship breakdown. This could be between a grandparent and their children, or between the grandchildren’s parents. Either way, the separation can be upsetting for the grandparents and the grandchildren.

Speak to their parents

Before turning to legal action you should first try and speak to the parent that is preventing contact with your grandchildren. By having an honest conversation, the parent may begin to change their mind about access. Just remember that having a quick chat is unlikely to cause an immediate change of attitude, so this may have several conversations. Therefore, it’s vital not to threaten legal action after only one or two conversations, as this could increase tensions unnecessarily.
Mediation

If initial conversations don’t go to plan, then mediation might be a good route to try, whether this is with a professional or another family member. Only after these options have failed should you consider making an application to the court..
Child arrangements order

You can ask the court for permission to apply for a court order – unfortunately, grandparents don’t have the same automatic right to go straight in and apply for a court order in the same way that parents do. Thankfully, family courts do recognise the importance and valuable role that grandparents can play in their grandchildren's’ lives so it’s likely that permission will be granted to allow you to make the application for a child arrangements court order for contact.
The child arrangements order will determine who your grandchildren will have contact with and for how long. You can read more about child arrangement orders generally in our guide to making child arrangements during a divorce or separation.

What if my grandchildren’s parents break the child arrangement order?

If you have obtained a child arrangements order to see your grandchildren, and their parent does not adhere to this order, then you can return the matter to court and request that the order is enforced.

Will a change in my grandchildren’s circumstances change my grandparent’s rights?

If there has been a change of circumstances, such as parental separation or the death of one or both of their parents, unfortunately, the same provisions still apply - no matter how harsh this may seem.

Getting help with seeing your grandchildren

Family breakdowns can be emotional and difficult for everyone involved. However, what is usually overlooked is the emotional distress caused by a loss of the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. We will be with you every step of the way.

If you’re a grandparent and are experiencing barriers with having contact with your grandchildren then we can help. Speak to one of our family lawyers to discuss the options available to ensure you don’t lose touch and maintain that vital relationship.

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Helen works with clients to ensure that they are sensitively guided through the complex area of family and relationship breakdown.

Helen has over twenty years’ of experience in advising clients in relation to family law issues.

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Helen Bowns

Partner & Head of Family Law

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Helen Bowns

Partner & Head of Family Law

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Making child arrangements during a divorce or separation

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The breakdown of a relationship is never easy and it can be even more difficult and emotional if children are involved, especially when it comes to making child arrangements.

Being able to co-parent through a separation is essential in ensuring that any emotional stress or disruption for the children is kept to a minimum. Whether your relationship breakdown has been amicable, or there have been disagreements from both sides, there are various approaches you can take to reach a solution that works for you and your ex-partner, and more importantly, considers and protects the long-term interests and welfare of your children.

You can read more about legally ending your marriage in our handy step-by-step guide to getting a divorce.

Try to reach an agreement with your ex-partner

If you and your ex-partner can reach an agreement on all matters relating to your children then you do not need to go to court – you can record what you’ve both agreed in a parenting plan. However, we suggest you seek the advice of a family lawyer to ensure that your agreement is legally binding, should there ever be disagreements or issues further down the line.
Resolving and settling issues out of court is always preferred, as it causes the least disruption to your family life. It can also be much quicker and more effective if you can have an amicable conversation and agree between yourselves.
Get help to reach an agreement through mediation or collaborative law

It’s natural to not agree on everything. However, just because you and your ex-partner can’t agree on every aspect of your children’s’ arrangements it doesn’t these have to be settled in court. Mediation or collaborative law can be used as a way to work together, alongside an impartial mediator, to secure the best future for your children and without the hefty court fees.
Ask the family court to make a decision

If you cannot reach an agreement between yourselves, or through mediation, then you can ask the family court to make a decision. As these court proceedings can be emotional and stressful, this approach should only be taken as a last resort. Because of this, before applying for a court order, you will have to attend a MIAMS (Mediation Information and Assessment) meeting to go through the options available first. You attend this on your own (i.e. your ex-partner does not attend your meeting) and you can then decide if mediation is something you would like to try.
After you’ve made your family court application

Once you've applied for a court order then the court will arrange a ‘directions hearing’ with you and your ex-partner (i.e. both parents), designed to figure out what aspects you both agree or disagree on. As your children's welfare is central to all proceedings, the judge or magistrate will also assess if your children are at risk in any way at all.
If there are no concerns over your children's welfare, during the hearing you'll be encouraged to reach an agreement if it's in your children's best interests that you do so. If you are able to agree then the court will record what you've agreed in a consent order and could end the process. If you're unable to reach an agreement at the first hearing then the process will continue and the judge or magistrate will set out what the next steps will be.
The welfare of your children will remain the priority and will always be put first throughout the process. Your children's wishes will be taken into account (if applicable, depending on their age, etc.), as well the their emotional and physical needs and the possible impact that any changes to their routine may have on their wellbeing.
A court will only make an order if they think it is in your children’s best interests to do so.
Enforcing a child arrangements court order

If your ex-partner is not following the court order then you can ask the court to enforce it. It is worth noting that the court may not enforce the existing order if they feel your ex-partner has good reason to not follow it, or if they believe the order is no longer in your children’s best interests. You can go back to the court if you don’t agree with their decision.

Here we explain the process and the approaches available when making child arrangements if you're going through a divorce or separation.

What are the types of family court orders?

There are four types of family court orders relating to the arrangements of children:

Child arrangements order
This determines where your children will live, how much time they will spend with each parent and when this will be (including important events such as religious holidays or birthdays).
It will also set out what other contact will take place outside of the physical contact, such as regular phone and video calls.
Specific issues order
This addresses specific issues around your children’s upbringing, such as where they will go to school, whether they will have a particular religious upbringing, or what their surname should be following your divorce.
It can also determine who will make decisions about your children’s healthcare, or if permission is needed if either of you want to take your children out of the UK.
Prohibited steps order
This prevents the other parent from making decisions around the children’s upbringing (such as where they will go to school, whether they will have any particularly religious upbringing).
Leave to remove
This is an application to seek the court’s consent to take the children out of the country to live abroad or to go on holiday.
You can read more about taking your children on holiday here >>

Getting Legal Advice

During, and following, a relationship breakdown, the primary focus and concern should always be the welfare of any children that are involved.

If you’re currently going through a divorce or separation involving children, our team of child custody lawyers will support and guide you through what can be an incredibly emotional journey.

Our child-centric approach never loses sight of the long-term interests of you and your children.

Get In Contact

Helen has over twenty years of experience in advising clients in relation to family law issues. Helen has particular expertise in representing clients with substantial wealth and has many cases involving family businesses, trusts and farms.

Helen also advises parents in complex children cases including international relocation.

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Helen Bowns

Partner & Head of Family Law

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How To Get a Divorce

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A Step by Step Guide on Getting a Divorce

We look at how to get a divorce and answer your frequently asked questions

What are the stages of getting a divorce?

Applying for a divorce

Reflection Period

Conditional Order Application

Application Review

Conditional Order

Final Order Application

Final Order Granted

Can I get divorced if we have just drifted apart?

Do I have to talk to my ex-partner throughout the divorce process?

Can I get a divorce if my partner doesn’t want to?

Will my partner get 50% of our assets, even if they have cheated?

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Do I have to give my engagement ring back if we divorce?

Does social media cause divorce?

Do I need to appoint a solicitor?

We’re not married, but we’ve been together for years – will I get 50%?

What happens during a divorce if the couple has a prenuptial agreement?

Our five top tips for going through a divorce

1. Remain civil and amicable

2. Take care during any conversations

3. Consult a lawyer before any major decisions

4. Keep a diary of events

5. Outline specific objectives

How we guide you through the divorce process

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The importance of the Pre Nup

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