How To Get a Divorce

Guides & Advice
Our Divorce Services
Home How to get a divorce | A Step By Step Guide

Share This

Share on LinkedIn Send to Twitter Facebook Icon Email this articles

A Step by Step Guide on Getting a Divorce

We look at how to get a divorce and answer your frequently asked questions

Going through a divorce or separation can be one of the most stressful periods in your life and if you're unsure of what the divorce process is, or how it works in practice, then the whole thing can feel a little bit overwhelming.

The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act, was introduced on 6 April 2022, which has completely overhauled the law and now means that one party can start or a couple can jointly start, proceedings without the need to apportion blame or offer a reason for the divorce.

Divorce terminology is also changing too, bringing the process into the 21st century. Making each element of divorce as clear as possible will reduce confusion and help people to understand the process they’re embarking on a little easier.

What are the stages of getting a divorce?

Here we break down the process of getting a divorce into seven steps.. Steps one to four explain how to start divorce proceedings. The latter three steps explain the process of completing the divorce.

  1. Applying for a divorce

    One person or a couple jointly starts the divorce application. This can be done online or via a paper application.

    There is now no requirement to give a reason for divorce or blame your partner – it is now largely on the basis of irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.

  2. Reflection Period

    The court sends your partner a copy of the application and the new and important 20 week reflection period starts. The new law stipulates a minimum allowable period of 20 weeks between the initial application and the granting of the conditional order, the old decree nisi, and then another six weeks between this and the final order.

    While there was some concern that the new legislation would mean ‘quicker/easier’ divorces, this period will mean the shortest divorces will still take at last six months to complete, rather than 3-4 months under the previous law.

  3. Conditional Order Application

    You apply for a conditional order and decide whether you want to make a financial claim. Within the divorce application, there is a question asking if you want to make a financial claim, i.e. if you want to finalise your financial matters in court after your divorce. Although completing a financial disclosure form is not compulsory for every divorce, it is a useful tool to give both parties a clear understanding of each other’s financial position, as people don’t always know exactly what there is ‘money-wise’ to agree a fair financial split.

    Before you even start considering how you’re going to divide things up, it’s important that you are both open and honest with the information you provide about your finances.
    A financial disclosure is not part of the divorce application document, but it does tend to be done in parallel to completing the application. You can read more information about financial settlements on the family law section of our website.

  4. Application Review

    The court reviews your application. Once you’ve filled in your application, you’ll need to send it to the court, along with either your original marriage certificate or an official copy (which you can obtain from the local registrar for around £12). You can find the address of your nearest divorce centre on the gov.uk website. You can also apply for a divorce on-line rather than send in a paper application.

    As the applicant(s) you will also need to pay a fee to apply for a divorce (this is currently £550) – the application won't be issued without a payment being made. Payment can be made via debit or credit card, or by cheque.

    Although it is the responsibility of the applicant(s) to pay the fee, people often agree with their ex-partner to share the costs (if they are aware the application is being filed at this stage). If you are on a low income you may be able to get help with the fees, but you will need to make a separate application for this and produce details of your circumstances.

  5. Conditional Order

    The court grants the conditional order (and the six week cooling off starts). Once you’ve sent your divorce application to the court, your ex-partner will be sent a copy too. As the ‘responder’ they must acknowledge that they have received a copy of the divorce application by signing and returning an acknowledgement of service form to the court. They must do this within seven days of receiving the papers. The new Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act has removed the option for an ex partner to contest a divorce.

    We recommend that you speak to your ex-partner in advance so they’re aware of the reasons you have filed the application and so they can keep an eye out for the papers. This can help prevent a delay with returning the form, which in turn can lead to severe delays with the divorce process and sometimes incur additional costs.

  6. Final Order Application

    You apply for the final order. The final step in obtaining a divorce takes place six weeks and a day after your final order is pronounced. If you’re the applicant then you will be the one to apply for the final order (the legal document that officially dissolves your marriage) after the ‘six weeks and a day’ period.

  7. Final Order Granted

    The court grants the final order. It’s important to know that you must file for your final order within a year after your conditional order is granted, otherwise you’ll have to go through more court proceedings, causing further delays.

5
Our Divorce Services

Can I get divorced if we have just drifted apart?

The introduction of the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act in April 2022 now means that no reason has to be given for starting divorce proceedings.  Proceedings can be started by one party or as a couple.  The divorce process generally takes between six and nine months but can take longer if financial matters still need to be agreed upon.

Do I have to talk to my ex-partner throughout the divorce process?

You don't have to, but it might help if you can. It’s always better if you can communicate with your ex-partner – especially if there are children involved. We appreciate that parenting through a divorce or separation is not easy. Even though you’ll no longer be married, you’ll both still want to act in the best interests of your children, so if you can retain some form of a relationship, it's better for everybody. It also helps to maintain some level of communication with your ex-partner when negotiating financial settlements.

However we appreciate that this isn’t always possible. If it's hard to talk to them, or your divorce is as a result of a domestic abuse case, then don't put yourself in an uncomfortable or compromising position. That’s where our divorce solicitors can work with you to try and reduce the stress and pressures surrounding the process, protect your interests, and seek a positive and prompt solution that works for you.

Can I get a divorce if my partner doesn’t want to?

Yes. Divorce proceedings, following the introduction of the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act, can be started by one party or by both parties.

Will my partner get 50% of our assets, even if they have cheated?

In England, the courts will always start with a 50/50 split of assets. But there are a number of instances where this may not be the case, such as the length of the marriage/civil partnership, large sums of inheritance or money generated after separation and sometimes generated pre-marriage and whether there are children. Fault – such as one partner cheating – has no bearing on the division of assets.

What am I entitled to in a divorce settlement?

This depends on a variety of factors i.e. the length and duration of the marriage, who the children will live with, what the matrimonial pot of assets consists of, what the respective income positions of the parties look like, and the age of the parties, to name but a few.

Once you have gone through the process of full and frank financial disclosure, a specialist divorce lawyer will be able to tell you what a Judge might consider being a fair financial settlement in your case. The starting point is for there to be an equal division of all matrimonial assets which includes assets in joint names but also any assets in the sole names of each party.

Visit our divorce financial settlements solicitors page to learn more about how we can support you.

Do I have to give my engagement ring back if we divorce?

This is a particularly common divorce question we encounter. If you break up with your partner, you may feel a moral obligation to return the ring - however, unless it can be proved that the ring was given conditionally, the law states that it is an absolute gift, meaning you do not have to return it to your ex.

But when it comes to household contents, also known as ‘chattels’ this is an area that is best dealt with directly between the parties as costs can quickly escalate when this issue is negotiated through solicitors. However, when high-value jewellery is involved, these items can cause conflict.

Wedding and engagement rings in particular can hold both monetary and emotional value, and the giver of those rings may believe that they are entitled to half the value, or even to have them returned.

In law, the giving of a ring is presumed to be a gift, and therefore it does not have to be returned. There may be an argument if an engagement is broken off, that the ring was given on the condition that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place. However, even though unfair, the recipient is not obliged to return it.

However, if the ring is of very significant value, this figure may be taken into account as part of the overall settlement.

Does social media cause divorce?

A recent study found that social media can be a factor in one in seven divorces. When going through a divorce, it can be easy to be tempted to post about how we’re feeling on social media so we've put together a complete guide on what to do and what not to do on social media when going through a divorce. View our guide here >>

Do I need to appoint a solicitor?

While it is possible to get a divorce without the support of a solicitor, you may run the risk of missing important legal loopholes, such as the ‘remarriage trap’. Put simply; if you remarry without a claim for a financial order you may be barred from seeking maintenance and other financial claims. You may also find yourself out of pocket down the line. Without full legal severance, it is possible that an ex-partner could chase you for a share of funds you may accrue later in life – whether that be a pension pot, inheritance or even a lottery win!

We’re not married, but we’ve been together for years – will I get 50%?

There is no such thing as a ‘common law wife/partner'. Cohabiting couples frequently believe that living with somebody for a prolonged period of time leads to certain legal rights such as a share of property owned by one party – it does not. If you choose not to marry then do consider a living together agreement to protect your best interests.

What happens during a divorce if the couple has a prenuptial agreement?

The court will consider whether to give effect to a prenuptial agreement if it is freely entered into by each party with a full appreciation of its implications. 

The key question is fairness. To establish this, the court will query whether the agreement was entered into freely and if the parties were aware of the implications of the agreement. It must be fair to hold the parties to the agreement in the circumstances prevailing, this will include whether any children have been born.

Our five top tips for going through a divorce

11

 

1. Remain civil and amicable

Keep discussions regarding the divorce and financial matters away from children. Emotions will understandably be running high but it’s essential that children do not pick up on any parental discord. Remaining civil and amicable with an ex-partner in the presence of the children can make the divorce process less traumatic for everyone involved.

2. Take care during any conversations

Assume any text message, conversation or email exchange with an ex-partner will be shown to a Judge. Stop and think before sending an angry message in the heat of the moment, as this could be regretted later down the line.

3. Consult a lawyer before any major decisions

Avoid making any drastic decisions such as leaving the family home or clearing out a bank account without consulting a divorce lawyer, as this could adversely affect the case.

4. Keep a diary of events

Divorces are an emotional and unstable time, meaning it can be hard to keep track of important events which may need to be relied upon later down the line. Keeping a diary and documenting everything is one way to ensure all essential information is on hand. For example, if an ex-partner misses a contact session or they tell you they will be opening a new bank account in their sole name, make a note.

5. Outline specific objectives

Defining goals can help keep the divorce process on track.

If retaining a pension is the main priority, then informing a divorce lawyer during the initial appointment would be a wise move. If the aim is to remain in the former family home, thinking about whether that goal is realistic and achievable is essential.

Neither party will ever come away from a divorce with absolutely everything that they wanted, so it’s important from the outset to decide what’s most important and what can be lived without.

How we guide you through the divorce process

The complicated part of the divorce process is not the dissolving of the marriage, but dealing with issues surrounding it such as those involving children or finances.

Our team of family lawyers can help support you and advise on the options available to complete your divorce process, whether this is making child arrangements and ensuring that the disruption and emotional stress is kept to a minimum, or securing the best financial settlement for you to secure your future.

The process of divorce can be emotional and the actions you take in the early stages can set the tone for everything that follows. If you’re about to start divorce proceedings either jointly or separately, or currently going through the separation process, then speak to one of our divorce lawyers. We’re here to guide you through the maze of emotions and legal responsibilities, every step of the way.

Helpful Resources:

  1. What happens after you apply
  2. Citizen's Advice on getting a divorce
  3. Check if you're eligible for Legal Aid
Get In Contact

Helen works with clients to ensure that they are sensitively guided through the complex area of family and relationship breakdown.

Get In Touch With Helen
Helen Bowns
Helen Bowns

Partner & Head of Family Law

View full profile Right Arrow
 

Divorce & Separation

If your marriage has broken down and you are looking to separate, you want the best outcome for yourself and your family. Our separation and divorce lawyers are right here to advise and guide you through the process.

Learn More
Guides & Advice

Unmarried couples who live together: How to protect your assets

GET IN TOUCH
Home Unmarried couples who live together: How to protect your assets
Choosing to live together before marriage is pretty much the norm in today’s society, with the number of couples choosing to cohabit on the up. Although it can provide a financially practical option, many couples fail to recognise the lack of protection of their assets if they separate.

There is a common misconception that cohabiting couples are protected by “common law”, giving them the same legal rights as married couples or those in a civil partnership. However, this is not the case - there is no such thing as cohabitation law and there is actually very little legal protection when dealing with a relationship breakdown. Read more about how you can resolve disputes that may arise using mediation, collaboration or arbitration. 

However, there are ways you can protect your assets in the event that the relationship ends. This is particularly crucial if children are involved, as protecting your wealth will provide security and help safeguard their future.  Although this may be an uncomfortable thought (after all, no one wants to plan for the breakdown of a relationship!), it is important to consider all eventualities and arrange legal protection if something was to go wrong, giving you both peace of mind. 

Cohabitation agreements

To avoid unwanted conflict further down the line, drawing up a cohabitation agreement (or a ‘living together agreement’ as it is sometimes referred to as) should be the top priority for all unmarried couples that are planning to move in together. As there is no such thing as cohabitation law, cohabiting couples have very few legal rights compared to married couples and therefore a cohabitation agreement provides a level of legal protection and security for both parties in the relationship.  

It is essentially a contract between a couple that neatly sets out which assets are joint assets, and which are separate. It also outlines what will happen to those assets in the event of a break-up, i.e. if you moved into a property already owned by your partner and then you both live there for a number of years and have children together, does this become a joint asset?  

Read more about the benefits of cohabitation agreements, what can, and should, be included and how they can provide you with legal protection if your relationship ends. Our helpful FAQs on cohabitation agreements also address common questions and misconceptions around living together, but not being married. 

In order for a cohabitation agreement to be legally binding, it will need to be drawn up by a lawyer – you cannot just create your own and sign it. Once everything is agreed, the contract must be signed and witnessed by both parties in order for it to hold up in court. 

Properties in a single name

When the property is in your name only, once your partner begins to contribute towards the mortgage and renovations, then they will gain a beneficial interest in the property. The level of interest does vary depending on the extent of the contributions, but the property’s equity is no longer solely yours. 

Arguments can arise over the beneficial interest in the house of each person, as legal ownership differs from beneficial ownership. This is where living together agreements can be used to solve the dispute in a straightforward and less traumatic way. 

Planning for the future

It’s clear that cohabiting is now a normal and common occurrence, so it is essential that people know the best way to safeguard their financial interests. Although there is no legal status for cohabitation law, there are ways you can give yourself a level of legal protection. From putting in place a cohabitation agreement, to preparing a will to protect your personal wealth, we’re here to help. 

The best time to put a cohabitation agreement in place is before moving in together, but it’s never too late to set one up or seek advice if you’re feeling financially vulnerable. Our team of cohabitation lawyers will support you with reaching an agreement that works for your relationship. 

For more advice on putting a cohabitation agreement in place, speak to a member of your local family law team. 

Katherine Marshall
Katherine Marshall

Partner

View full profile Right Arrow
Related articles

How to get a divorce | A Step By Step Guide

Family Mediation and Arbitration Guide

Related services
Family
Learn More >
Back to Thoughts & Insights

How can we help?

Our expert lawyers are ready to help you with a wide range of legal services, use the search below or call us on: 0330 024 0333

SHMA® ON DEMAND

Listen to our SHMA® ON DEMAND content covering a broad range of topics to help support you and your business.

Changes to T&Cs within employment contracts

16 May

Nick Jones, Partner - Employment | Cecily Donoghue, Senior Associate - Employment
Changes to T&Cs within employment contracts

Whether your business is considering changing terms for one member of staff, a team, […]

Register Right Arrow

Making sure you’re compliant

24 Apr

Ewan Carr, Legal Director | Helen Dyke, Legal Director
Making sure you’re compliant

Employment law is constantly on the move and HR professionals and in-house employment lawyers […]

Read More Right Arrow

Schools’ legal update – “Demystifying holiday pay”

5 Mar

Esther Maxwell, Partner | Emma Glazzard, Associate
Schools’ legal update – “Demystifying holiday pay”

Are you up to speed with the new rules on carrying over holiday? Have […]

Watch Right Arrow

Employment Law update March 2024

4 Mar

Rhys Wyborn, Partner | Oscar Ciaurro, Associate
Employment Law update March 2024

Watch Right Arrow

View all SHMA® ON DEMAND

Our Latest Thoughts

All the latest views and insights on current topics.

Shakespeare Martineau Sets Sights On Southampton Expansion

23 Apr

Firm News

Shakespeare Martineau Sets Sights On Southampton Expansion

Read article Right Arrow

Shakespeare Martineau Announces Nine Promotions – April 2024 Edition

22 Apr

Shakespeare Martineau

Shakespeare Martineau Announces Nine Promotions – April 2024 Edition

Read article Right Arrow

HEIs telling it like it is – correcting false or misleading public statements

12 Apr

Education

HEIs telling it like it is – correcting false or misleading public statements

Read article Right Arrow

Dual Qualification For Social Housing Solicitor

11 Apr

Dual Qualification For Social Housing Solicitor

Read article Right Arrow

Intervention of Hyam Lehrer

10 Apr

SRA Intervention

Intervention of Hyam Lehrer

Read article Right Arrow

View all articles

Resolving relationship disputes out of court

Guides & Advice
Get In Touch
Home Resolving relationship disputes out of court

Share This

Share on LinkedIn Send to Twitter Facebook Icon Email this articles

Many couples about to embark on divorce and financial remedy proceedings are blissfully unaware that there are others forms of dispute resolution to help them resolve issues, such as who is to keep the family home or how pensions are to be divided.
An alternative route to traditional forms of financial remedy proceedings

Family courts are more stretched than they ever were previously and it’s no understatement to say that the family justice system is at breaking point. In light of this, it can take parties’ years to resolve their financial matters flowing from their divorce if they choose to go down the traditional route of financial remedy proceedings. However, there are other approaches.

Many people are completely unaware about arbitration and how it can be effectively used as an alternative ‘out of court’ method for resolving financial matters.

What is arbitration?

Arbitration is a form of formal dispute resolution that has been available for family law issues since March 2012 (although many people still don’t know this exists).

During arbitration, the parties enter into an agreement under which they appoint a suitably qualified person (an arbitrator) to adjudicate their dispute and make an award – essentially the outcome of your case is decided by a neutral arbitrator as if they were a judge in court.

What are the advantages of arbitration?

  • You choose your own judge
    Once you’ve appointed your suitably qualified arbitrator (i.e. your judge), that same person will deal with your matter until the conclusion of your case, creating continuity.

  • Degree of flexibility
    You have more control and flexibility over the proceedings and the decisions being made, i.e. you can have a say in respect of the time, date and venue for any hearings within the arbitration process.

  • Confidentiality
    Possibly one of the most favoured benefits with arbitration is that confidentiality can be assured, meaning national and regional press publications are unable to report on your case.

  • Keeping matters out of court

    You can resolve issues in a non-confrontational way, that can save you time and money. Therefore, many people tend to prefer the arbitration process, as opposed to the timely, costly and significantly delayed financial court proceedings.

Is arbitration expensive?

While many wealthy and/or famous people choose to use arbitration to resolve their financial matters, it certainly isn’t exclusively for the rich and famous. Many couples have also turned to arbitration as they do not wish to have their life on hold for months (or even years!) whilst their financial remedy case makes its way through the painstakingly slow family judicial system, adding time and money.

How and when should I start arbitration?

If you are about to commence a divorce, make sure you speak to a specialist family lawyer about the alternatives to court proceedings. There are a number of helpful out-of-court ways to work together to sort out your finances that could save you a significant amount of time and money.

How we can help guide you through the process

Whichever route you decide to take, our experienced family lawyers will support you and equip you with the information and guidance you need to reach a solution that works for you.

If your relationship has recently broken down, and you’re finding it difficult to agree with your ex-partner regarding a financial settlement or childcare arrangements, then arbitration may allow you to reach a solution you’re both happy with, and more importantly, may save you costly court action.

To see how this process could work for you, please speak to a member of our local family law team.

Get In Contact

Helen works with clients to ensure that they are sensitively guided through the complex area of family and relationship breakdown.

Helen has over twenty years’ experience in advising clients in relation to family law issues.

Get In Touch With Helen
Helen Bowns
Helen Bowns

Partner & Head of Family Law

View full profile Right Arrow
Helen Bowns
Helen Bowns

Partner & Head of Family Law

View full profile Right Arrow
Related articles

How to get a divorce | A Step By Step Guide

Dramatic Divorce Drop Shows Changing Attitudes To Marriage

Related services
Mediation, Arbitration & Collaborative Law
Learn More >
Divorce & Separation
Learn More >
 

Mediation, Arbitration & Collaborative Law

When a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean financial issues or child arrangements have to be settled in court. Our mediation lawyers can help you reach a solution that works for you and your ex-partner, offering you more control and flexibility over the decisions being made

Learn More